DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS
My students recently read a piece from the Power of Nonviolence, a personal narrative about a man named John Lewis who participated in sit-ins during the 1960s. A lot of kids questioned the notion of nonviolent protest, said they seemed to lead to violence because the Gandhis, Throreaus and Kings of the world ended up assassinated and/or jailed. Jesus Christ is also in this category of misunderstood leaders whose earthly life ended because of suspicion, fear and brutish corrective measures.
And so in reading with the kiddies, I naturally was led to think about how the unfamiliar scares people to death, literally throughout world history. When movements, particularly the nonviolent sort, are squelched, it is often at the hands of weapons and because of a latent fear. Someone or some entity is afraid of losing power, money, status, etc. but the consummate preventive solution is always manually silencing your opposition.
When all else fails, you shut people you don’t understand up with force…I guess. And so it resonated when I read a devotion prescribed to me by Prudence Dancy (Renewed Living Ministries), a friend whose very life revolves around spiritual formation. Her prescription started me off in I John 3:1 and the second half of that verse says, “…The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” And I thought, shoot…seems like people malign what they don’t fathom. It’s like the sixth grader who thinks math is dumb because he’s rockin’ a D-minus.
Tim Tebow (Denver Broncos) professes faith in Jesus Christ, clearly exposes a motive bigger than football for his lifestyle and people find him perplexing. And honestly, people just found him intriguing because when a rabbit foot is on a roll, people want to know where they can buy one. He was 6-1 as a starter and most recently had helped his team when a slew of games in unorthodox fashion. But he’s not that interesting at all, just unrecognizable because when people listen to him talk, it sounds like mumbo jumbo, gobbledygook nonsense. But truth be told, it’s not maniacal, especially if it drives a millionaire to espouse charity, compassion and mentoring. What’s weird about that? But it is uncommon and strange enough for a cynical world to cry foul when they see individuals willing to risk reputation and well-being for core belief.
I think the unfamiliar can be immediately polarizing like the issue of segregation pre-1964. But strangeness can also be faddish and cult-like as people lift their glasses while watching admirable people proclaim truths that should govern us all. But whether the culturally virtuous weirdos of past and present arouse violence or entertain, I realized that this tendency of people to make fun of morals and debunk spiritually driven people is based in fear.
Loving enemies, forgiving, ridding your thought life of adultery and poisonous anger are the types of things our society says are ridiculous. Because what would life be like without our self-medicating? We legislate our arrogance, our right to comfort, our right to remain silent on controversial issues, etc. We’re afraid of making people mad at us or jeopardizing illusory ease we conjure up for family. But the strangers of history probably weren’t trying to create a pantheon of Hall-of-Fame martyrs. God makes no sense to most people but neither does a V-8 engine for most of us. I get it now. “…The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” If you’re going to stand for more than situational ethics like the heroes and heroines of history, you’ll have to be outfitted with the grim truth that you will not be understood. Why should you be? The guy who invented truth didn’t make it to his 34th birthday.
DISLOYALTY
I’m a confirmed disloyal individual, I think. You might be as well. Far back as I can remember I’ve been giving people reasons to not like me. I’ve often thought that people can like the you they make you out to be but the minute you disappoint??? Now you’re the brotha they love to hate, as Ice Cube once coined it.
So it stands to reason that you need only to fail to fulfill expectations to become “that guy.” People are loyal to ideas (usually their own), money (usually due to an obsession with comfort) and idols (usually the thing they’ve come to value/worship the most). Consequently, if you’re going to be adored in this world, you’d better align your activity with one of the previously mentioned big three. Ideas, money and idols get projected via a pretty blatant exchange. We transact loyalty for loyalty all the time.
But me? I learned a long time ago that if you’re not loyal to those big three people think you either don’t live in the real world or that you are selfish. I’ve been labeled everything from selfish to crazy to ungodly. But I, like you, have determined that loyalty belongs in one place – unchanging principles. It’s an easy saying up front but hard on the back end. Because it means if your brother robs a bank, you admit he deserves prison even if his motives were noble. It means that when your daughter is being menaced “by dem mean gurls at skool” you don’t march down and start swingin’ fists at little kids. The truth is that the world works on this grand scheme of loyalty networking. But if you’re brave enough, character driven enough and can handle losing the approval of many, you’ll actually only be disloyal to evil. And that can’t be so bad can it?
PARIAHS OF SPORT
Aren’t Tiger Woods, Michael Vick, Joe Paterno, and Kobe Bryant unforgiveable? These are the men of scorn in athletics with the recent addendum of Penn State University’s beloved Joe Pa. And what makes a pariah? Well, here’s what happens: people who think they’re better than the heinous, notorious all-stars find rest in positions of judgement. And then poof…PARIAH.
And this is not to say that having certain behaviors be deemed unacceptable is a bad thing. All it takes is a loving parent to tell you how they feel about absolutes when it comes to protecting the innocent. And by-and-large the world frowns upon marital infidelity. And it’s also generally uncool to wantonly abuse animals right? Right. But when a pariah is formed, the world breathes a sigh of relief because it suddenly, and momentarily, can stay feelings of ultimate failure. There’s a lot to be said for being bad but not the worst culprit of evil. After all, you might think an illicit thought but at least you didn’t “sext” message women to whom you weren’t married.
But ahh the pride before the fall. The pariah can create a diversion from oneself as superstar sins drift beyond personal feasibility. In simple speak, focusing on the Mount Rushmore of ethical infidels makes us think our “poop don’t stank.” And I’m not talking about the pundits. I’m talking about a world of regular folk who drive themselves to work and make less than $100,000 a year. These people look down their noses at the people who fall from grace and say, “I’ve never and I’d never…” Trouble is, “We’ve always and We’d definitely…”
We do not believe in redemption though we love redemption stories. We are not a rehabilitative culture because some of our funniest jesting involves references to Robert Downey Jr.’s Betty Ford Clinic fame. Ricky Gervais had me roaring with that one. But seriously, when the big guns go down, the guys who are worth billions, we are mortified and appalled. We wonder, ironically, how the humans we turn into idols fail us. Why do they behave so strangely? Better question is, “Why do you not behave as they do?” What will stave off your barbarism? It’s a vital question because if not answered, you will become the poster child for hypocrisy. Neglect the source of your ethics and morals and you will vacillate between nobility and treachery. You will not throw stones from a glass home but rather from the living room of one through your own windows. The pariahs of sport are signposts but we treat them like exceptions. Ladies and gentlemen, there’s a log in your eye and your son or daughter’s eye too. But it’s cool. Logging is dangerous work but there’s an unseen reconciler who specializes in it.
GOOD GOD OF IRONY
I asked students to describe an episode of irony from their own lives. Ryan retorted, “I choked on a lifesaver once.” Touché. I’ve “choked on a lifesaver.” It’s when the thing that should be adding value to your life steals it instead. And wouldn’t you know that this is the subject of most of my contemporary theological discussions?
I went to a UCLA Football game tonight at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. For the record, the Bruins bested the Arizona State Sun Devils 29-28 in a game for the annals. But the subplot is clearly the irony of life defined by sports/entertainment/sexualized subculture. People find their identity in the aforementioned things and therein lies the irony. Because dude, beer can’t give you life. Neither can the chick in Row 50 Seat F with all that make-up on. There’s junior highers flirting with high schoolers and rival college students presenting the keg-life as legendary to young onlookers.
There’s always the risk of sounding like a human diatribe whenever you bring attention to the irony of life but it’s worth the rant. The point is not that Bacon wrapped hot dogs are sinful or that I paid $8 for a carne asada burrito. It’s not even that so much is being sold at a college football game. The irony is in the fact that football is a gift as is a beautiful stadium nestled against foothills while the canopy of the cosmos canvases human activity like exquisite decor. The irony is that we seek life in “artificially flavored” segments as if the natural divine ingredients of our Saturday afternoon are not enough to satisfy. Irony has become virtually unrecognizable because we’ve acquired quite the taste for worshiping human creations. There is time yet, however, to move back into a mode of valuing experiences, good conversations and a perfect spiral that hits a wide-out in stride for a 76-yard touchdown. Realized irony in our human ranks could be one of our Lord’s greatest revelations.
DENOUMENT FROM TRIPLE OVERTIME
When the events of the story conclude, tie up and make sense, you have Denoument. We make resolutions at various times throughout life and to say we’re short sighted would be grotesquely inadequate. Our resolutions are not action focused or developmental. We determine to reach these pinnacles and shock the world. And I watch USC football wanting them to be electric. Today was October 29, 2011 and USC took three OT periods to lose to heavy favorite Stanford. USC lost 56 – 48 and I know moral victories are billed as ethereal myths that motivate. Nevertheless, I think the better team sometime loses.
Put two teams, two sets of super human athletes across from one another in combat. All things can be equal but the science of an oblong ball’s bounce, the pain threshold of each human on that field and the subjectivity of officiating come together to produce what we know as college game day. So the only constant is preparation and a will to give all on every down, so-to-speak. Because we all know that you will not always win. It’s as grim a truth as exists. Your Denoument is literally everything.
It’s not a choice to resolve. It’s a mandate. You have to decide who you will be, how you will work, why you will fight in this life. You have to respond to both wins and losses. But mostly you have to respond to varying degrees of loss. You have to adjust, regroup, retool, relearn and reapply. The plot structure of your saga is loaded and can lure you into its complexity. Don’t bite. Run hard, hit hard, mourn your losses but you dang well better resolve to battle the pressure and refine yourself. Championship play is always an admirable objective.
SHOOTOUT WITH GOD
God sometimes demands so much of you that it’s maddening. I was talking to my wife yesterday about a holding pattern I’ve been in my whole life. There is such a thing as too comfortable with who you are. My case-in-point is how in the midst of debt, a new job and the horizon of ministry, I can hear God’s unmistakable voice like a coach who won’t end practice until you’ve given everything. There’s no mercy in this element of God’s character for it is because of his mercy that you are in the crucible. And so the age of manna for me is fleeting and if I’m to excel and stop circling the airport I have to mine the recesses of latent places deep within.
So much of Christianity has been billed as formulaic and this was my point of contention with God. My formula wasn’t working. I had the deep desires, the visions of how to impact the world along with a dab of gab gift. But God said, “You lackin’ the killa, son. How bad do you want freedom? How bad do you want to see a realm transformed from superficial to significant?” I was left speechless.
So I recounted the convo to the wife concluding that God ain’t lettin’ a brotha off the hook on this one. It’s either, “Get some bulldog” or settle for a break-even life. The break-even life is just as it sounds – just enough to get by or at least think you’re gettin’ by. It constitutes falling prey to the most sinister suppression of keeping you content with mediocrity.
The takeaway was that I’ll treat the conversation with God like when someone older than you picks on you. They make you mad and then something is lit inside you that moves you to another gear. Tenacity is realized in a moment. But I’ll need to stay mad to perform in this vein. You gots to be pissed to stay in this mode and there is no plan B. So the discontent is compounded by God’s refusal to relent. But a grip you must get on your emotions and threshold of the difficult. The only way out of average is through a hellish bout with self.
BREAKIN’ UP 2.0
Technology has taken “Dear John” to a new level. I parted ways with my mobile carrier yesterday and fell into the arms of another. The beauty of the potentially cataclysmic event was that I didn’t even have to see my old carrier face-to-face. My ex-service provider had no leverage either. They couldn’t have retained my phone number and our bill was current. They didn’t have an opportunity to provide us incentives or re-win our business. It’s almost a sad convenience that you can discontinue a business relationship remotely.
When you change cell phone companies, technology allows you to port everything from your old phone that’s of any significance. This is courtship 2.0. But it speaks to something in us that hates awkward confrontation. Truth be told, some smart girl or guy probably had a bad experience trying to leave a mobile service provider. He or she said, “I’d like to discontinue my service with you.” In response they got something on the order of, “May I ask you why?” The refugee then stumbles over his or her words trying not to hurt feelings, as if this is a personal dialogue. The business minds used to have the advantage of evoking emotion in an effort to manipulate.
Ah but no longer. Now it’s consumer who appears to have the advantage in the shark tank. No more bleeding in the water as phone vendors aggressively solicit your business. You need only to do your homework online, show up with a budget and you’re unstoppable. Mobile providers have to earn a face-to-face nowadays and I’m impressed with this advent. On the contrary, if you translate the ethos of quitting without correspondence to sports, it loses its luster.
Trace the big decisions athletes make from high school to professional and there’s an unmistakable money trail. There’s the scent of lucre that fills the nostrils of athletes, just to pick on them for a second, and it drives switch-carrier philosophy. Soundbites at press conferences for transient athletes in mid-migration usually use “best for my family” as if it were an axiom. That quote means that you can be left alone if you are pursuing what everyone supposedly wants – MONEY. It’s the universal caveat that works great for your 2-year phone contract but could be a dangerous governor for more significant decisions.
Case-in-point: I’m a coach. I hate non-communication by my players. You can’t just not show up for practice, thinking coach would understand your reason later. By the same token, sending a text to explain a lame excuse is even worse. But that is the glitch in Breakin’ Up 2.0 – it’s an application for selfish interest. It’s not compatible with the team construct that requires character. It’s been “downloaded” by a great majority of us. Stay tuned for the upgrade.
SKELETAL
What holds people up, makes them stand vertical? There’s simple answers and complex ones. There are God-fearin’ folk who would say, “God is the skeleton that supports the human frame.” But if I’m asked a similar question, I’d assume the asker wanted a more specific articulation. So I’d offer, for starters that people prop themselves up by one of two things. Either they take joy and affirmation in the feeling that, “I can produce.” Or they affix themselves to causes bigger than themselves that can be but aren’t always spiritual. There is something that motivates people to make their own lives count and the efforts toward that objective quickly become skeletal.
As with the human skeleton, and I know little about bones, I imagine our pride is regularly subject to bruising and breaking. Bones and egos are brittle due to deficiencies and when weak skeletons are exposed, the result can be toxic as people attack one another.
Pure ignorance cripples us all at times as we judge, complain and pout because we can’t have what we want. It’s a brittle bones disease beyond compare. In fact I once met a young man with the physical version of this disease and he was quite cantankerous, throwin’ attitude and nearly runnin people down with his wheelchair. Wouldn’t you protect your Achille’s heal?
And so the word skeletal has more to do with the depth of the strength you exude than the remains you leave behind. The operative word is depth. We can choose to fortify our emotional and spiritual core, unlike our genetic skeletons. The irony is how we leave that to chance and blame the world for our failures. Make the skeletal work of you a beauty.
